Today, I had to do a bit of homework that required me to do a family tree.
It was the first time I had to write ‘death- 30/06/2010’ next to my Grandad’s name. I had to acknowlage his death. I never do that. It brought up a fuckload of memories, bad ones.
Then, my boyfriend rang me up, his Grandad’s just been diagnosed with cancer, just over one year after my boyfriend’s dad died of cancer, his uncle just had the same type of cancer as his dad had removed, and his mum’s brother is dying of brain cancer. So his life is beyond shit. And I love his Grandad, so I’m upset about that as well.
Selfishly, the fact his Grandad has cancer has made me really miss my grandad, and has made me remember the exact moment I was told my Grandad had terminal cancer.
Now I can’t stop crying. Or stop holding my Grandads clothes, sniffing them.and singing Johnny Cash and other country stuff like we used to.
I miss my Grandad so much. You’d think after nearly two years the pain goes away. It hasn’t. It’s just getting worse.
Lu x
